Hello there! It seems you may have misgendered the person who sent you this on accident! Before you jump to defense, lapses in judgment happen and sometimes we make mistakes! Your best bet is to just simply apologize and here are some ways to do it and avoid misgendering anyone!
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how to apologize for misgendering someone
It’s totally natural for us to jump onto the defensive so all that’s being asked is that you don’t! The conversation shouldn’t take a turn into the “well I have trans friends” thing and the conversation shouldn’t even take a turn at all! Don’t make a big deal either. Cis people have a tendency to be like “omg I’m so sorry I feel so bad I’m gonna go run into a pole, hit myself with a frying pan and run around Antarctica!” and while your enthusiasm is greatly appreciated it’s just... overbearing.. and please don’t do that. A simple sorry will do, the conversation should stay on track after you apologize.
ways to apologize
Some phrases that can help would be
“Sorry for misgendering you! I will use your correct pronouns/not call you that again.”
“I apologize for not using your correct pronouns the first time, I will make sure to correct myself”
Anything along these lines is great! They’re simple and the conversation should continue normally after this!
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how to avoid misgendering
Check someone carrd, pronouny or anywhere on their profile! This can help you find their pronouns, terms and names! If you are not sure it’s perfectly valid to ask if they are comfortable with any terms before using them and even how to use their pronouns! These questions are appreciated!
Sometimes people don’t have their pronouns displayed for safety reason so in these cases it’s always best to ask what pronouns they use before!
Overall avoid gendered terms until you know someone’s comfortable with them! This is a safe bet especially when you aren’t mutuals with the person!
It’s extremely easy to recheck someone’s pronouns or to check them so please do!
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